Introduction
Therefore the spirit of the depths forced me to speak to my soul, to call upon her as a living and self-existing being.
C. G. Jung, The Red Book
This is a story of my life between the ages of 14 and 18, an intense period that happened during the 1960’s in Wales and Ireland. It is an odd story, filled with twists and turns—but it is real, or at least as real as my memory and my Self allows. [1] I wrote most of the narrative years ago, but something was missing, incomplete.
Gradually, it dawned on me. As a psychotherapist, I inhabit two worlds: the ordinary world of taken-for-granted happenings and a deeper more intricate world of symbols and inner meaning. On the surface, everything is simply the way it seems; beneath the surface everything is something else. My task as a therapist is to delve the depths of the psyche, to illuminate mysteries, explore the tangled network of metaphorical connections—and ultimately contact the hidden realm of the soul. How could I write about the surface when the depths are ever-present and calling?
Life is more than personal, more than a unique sequence of events. As Winifred Rushforth, my first therapist used to say with a twinkle in her eye, “Something is happening!”[2] Beneath the skin, below the surface, something profound is going on, a whole tapestry of subterranean meaning. Subtle threads weave intricate patterns through the fabric of our lives, patterns that slip past our attention. To understand ourselves, we have to tease out the strands, searching for guiding signs and elusive indications. Only then can we recognize life for what it is—a purposeful journey of the soul.
So each chapter is an edgy amalgam of narrative and psychological reflections. The story is an adolescent ‘hero’s journey’; the reflections are the outflowing of many years engaging in Jungian-flavored psychotherapy. I am not a Jungian—but C.G. Jung has my most profound respect. A brilliant intellect who changed how we view the psyche, Jung was also a sage and shaman, an embodiment of the wise old man archetype. In my 20’s I read his memoir, Memories, Dreams, Reflections; almost from the first page, I knew that psychology was to be my chosen path. [3]
In this book, I invite you to use the story and reflections to contemplate your own experience. Recall the adventures and struggles, the doubts and triumphs. Examine the decisions you felt compelled to make. Understand the forces that affected your choices and experiences. Now is a good time to revisit those vital questions: What is going on? What is happening to me? What does it all mean?
The Book’s Structure
Each chapter has two parts; my remembered adolescence experiences, and the attendant psychological reflections, and associations . This dual process—outer story and inner meaning—is similar to the process of psychotherapy. In a therapy session, clients talk about the events of their lives, both current and past. This narrative is the surface story.
Like a layer of frothed milk on a cup of coffee, the surface story tends to conceal the underlying dynamics within our psyche. During a session I endeavor to uncover the deeper story: the lost feelings, childlike fantasies and psychic patterns buried beneath the narrative. Understanding and integrating these deeper meanings helps unlock our stuck patterns of feeling and behavior.
Hopefully, this book will encourage you to revisit your own adolescent journey. If you take time to explore the deeper psychic processes involved, you will undoubtedly reap the invaluable treasure of deeper self-awareness.
Read the next chapter: 1: An Encounter with Death
[1] Self, with a capital S, is a conventional way to differentiate the totality of our being from our ego. The ego, or small self, comprises the conscious aspect of our psyche, the part we most identify with. I use the word soul to refer to those aspects of the Self that are beyond our comprehension.
[2] Winifred Rushforth, Something is Happening (Gateway, 1985),
[3] C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections (Random House, 1961),
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