Roland Evans

Inner Life Therapy and Coaching

Surgery and Healing

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Orianne and I set off before dawn for the hospital. Check in was at 5.30 am for a 7.30 operation to remove a large cyst from the left side of my head. I’d had it since I was a baby but it had grown over the years and started pressing on my eye. Now was the time to deal with it.

As we sped along the empty highway, I felt calm and quiet. I knew I had the right head and neck surgeon: it had taken almost a year to find him. To be safe, he had invited two other experienced doctors to do their part: a neurosurgeon and ocular-plastic surgeon. A three-person team of experts was looking after me. The cyst didn’t stand a chance! [Read more…] about Surgery and Healing

Cultivating Knowing: a conversation

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“I can’t decide,” said the young man pacing up and down. “It’s a jumble and I don’t even know if I trust myself. What should I do?”

The old man sat quietly looking down at the ground. After a pause he looked at the young man and replied, “That’s because you don’t know where to decide from.”

“What do you mean? How do I make a decision from somewhere? I just need to make up my mind.”

“So you decide with your mind? You think a decision!” [Read more…] about Cultivating Knowing: a conversation

Fishing for Dreams: Part 1

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Dreamfish
Dreamfish

This is the first of a two-part article on how to work with dreams. Tongue-in-cheek, I explore different aspects of dreamwork using the metaphor of fish and fishing. In this section, I deal with how we catch, hold on to and recognize different kinds of dreams. A second article will address how to prepare, cook and digest these strange creatures of the unconscious.

Dreams are slippery fish—hard to catch and difficult to hold. They don’t give up their nourishment without a bit of a struggle and some resolute cooking. [Read more…] about Fishing for Dreams: Part 1

Fishing for Dreams: Part 2

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Preparing Fish
Preparing Dreamfish

This is the second of a two-part article on dreamwork using the metaphor of fishing. We have caught our dream-fish and held it tight so it does not slip through the fingers of our mind. Now comes the really interesting part: How to prepare and cook our dream so that it provides nourishment for our hearts, minds and souls.

Lay out the fish
Our dream-fish lies fresh in our minds-eye. We examine it carefully to see what we need to do next. This is when we write down the dream. [Read more…] about Fishing for Dreams: Part 2

Spirituality and Relationship in Later Life

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Published in “Jung and Aging,” 2014
Jerry M. Ruhl, Ph.D. and Roland Evans, M.A.

 Introduction

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone—we find it with another.” 1 This quote from Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk and author, points toward a neglected aspect of relationship in the second half of life: that it can become the container for profound inner growth.

[Read more…] about Spirituality and Relationship in Later Life

Self-Care during the Covid-19 Pandemic

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This is an extraordinary and difficult time. With so much uncertainty and social turmoil, it is easy to give in to fear and hopelessness. We must keep physically safe to avoid being infected and infecting others. We must also take care of our emotional and mental wellbeing. Below are suggestions to help you maintain your inner psychological balance. [Read more…] about Self-Care during the Covid-19 Pandemic

Getting the Most out of Therapy

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Therapy is one of the few places where you can be completely honest with yourself and explore all your thoughts, feelings and actions. However, therapy is not simple or easy. Like any worthwhile undertaking, it can be demanding as well as immensely fulfilling.

To get the most out of your time in therapy, you should ask yourself: How can I best use this time? What will help me make the changes I want? What might get in the way of making progress? [Read more…] about Getting the Most out of Therapy

RELATIONSHIPS: Maintenance and Repair A-C by Rose Kent

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Rose Kent is a wonderful friend and therapist who lives in Glasgow, Scotland. During ‘lockdown’ in 2020 she wrote an ‘A – Z’  of advice for  couples, about how they might best maintain and repair their relationship during stressful times.  I have reproduced it below with her permission.

These ‘A B C’ notes on maintaining and repairing relationships during “lockdown” are based on personal and professional experience. They’re also relevant for when our relationships with partners are under any kind of strain.

Feeling irritable, can’t concentrate? Wondering why you can’t cope? Switching between blaming yourself and blaming your partner? You’re not the only one: this is really, really normal in close relationships during anxious times. And being ‘isolated together’ is a major additional stress.

You may just use the notes as occasional ‘tips and hints’ . Most of us have at least some relationship struggles, often hidden from view… there are NO perfect relationships!

Alternatively, start with A, B, C as if you were starting a new “Exercise Programme” (- with the eventual goal a more healthy relationship) and commit yourself to working on a different letter of the alphabet every 2 to 3 days, then check your progress by re-starting from A! [Read more…] about RELATIONSHIPS: Maintenance and Repair A-C by Rose Kent

16: Sickness and Magic

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Summer 1969, Age 17

As usual, Mother complained of feeling unwell. There was always something: constant headache, discomfort from a prolapsed womb or indigestion from a hiatus hernia. Endless physical ailments were a background drone, easy to ignore; I assumed alcohol and drugs were the causes. Anyway, Mother had a will of iron: if she wanted to be sick, she would be sick; if she wanted to be well, she could do that just as easily.

This time seemed different. She looked pale and haggard, had a hard time moving about the caravan and described a strange dragging pain in her abdomen.

[Read more…] about 16: Sickness and Magic