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Roland Evans

Individual and Relationship Psychotherapy

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Worrying—And What To Do About It

January 14, 2019 By Roland

Fiery Dawn

Given the state of the world and the dire political situation, a certain amount of anxiety is completely normal. However, some of us find ourselves worrying endlessly, particularly if we wake in the middle of the night and our minds get crowded with things that might go wrong.

If you worry excessively, you may be constitutionally sensitive and/or have had unpredictable negative things happened to you earlier in life. However, that does not mean you cannot find a much better way to cope with life’s demands. [Read more…] about Worrying—And What To Do About It

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Self-care

Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail – and What to Do About Them!

December 31, 2018 By Roland

You hope this year will be different. You want to get off to a good start and tackle those things you didn’t get to last year. Going to the Internet, you search through the lists of how to tackle your resolutions and feel all revved up to get going. Unfortunately, you are now more likely to fail than succeed. While the Internet suggestions look intuitively convincing, few are based on how the mind and the brain actually work.

[Read more…] about Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail – and What to Do About Them!

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Self-care

Regret: The path not taken

November 30, 2018 By Roland

GettyImages-115738209.jpgWhat will we most regret on our deathbed?  Immediately after we have been humiliated or made a big blunder, most of us think we will regret it for the rest of our life. No so. The research is clear: we most regret those things we fail to do – not the things we actually do.  In the long run, it matter little that we make a mess or mistake. Those things fade from memory. What haunts us and becomes a burden are the things we let slide: our procrastinations, our hesitations, our inability to take a leap of faith and following our dreams.

[Read more…] about Regret: The path not taken

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Psychotherapy

Organizational Culture

September 28, 2018 By Roland

Organizational culture (OC) is hard to pin down but can be described as the pervasive, enduring, shared values, beliefs, norms and assumptions of the organization and its members. [Read more…] about Organizational Culture

Filed Under: Other Things, Psychology

How Well Are You Doing?

September 28, 2018 By Roland

How well we do in our life fluctuates day-by-day and even hour-by-hour.  We feel it in our sense of wellbeing and our ability to be productive and effective. In general, our overall functioning is a result of the balance between those things, people and activity that brigs us satisfactions and those same things that makes us frustrated.

Think of satisfactions as all those things, both inner and outer, that nourish our sense of self.  In contrast, frustrations are all those blockages that obstruct our sense of movement, progress and expansion in our daily life. [Read more…] about How Well Are You Doing?

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Self-care

We All Need Clear Boundaries

September 28, 2018 By Roland

What are boundaries?

  • Everything we can name has some sort of boundary to distinguish it from every other thing
  • Boundaries make the world and our experience knowable and communicable
  • We cannot differentiate something that does not have some sort of edge or contrast with its surroundings—whether through our senses, our ideas or our feelings.

[Read more…] about We All Need Clear Boundaries

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Self-care

Procrastination

September 28, 2018 By Roland

Procrastination is not only the ‘thief of time’ but also the life stealer. Putting things off creates an inner tension that stops a person from enjoying the present and creates a future full of ignored and undone tasks.

The cause of procrastination is avoidance of pain and fear. We avoid the pain of facing those feelings and actions we have avoided in the past; we fear that completing a task in the future will make things worse.

Pain grows greater as we neglect to accomplish or finish what we hope or expected to do. As the pain grows, so does the avoidance and fear of the future. The pain and fear cluster around certain themes: [Read more…] about Procrastination

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Psychotherapy

Therapy and Spirituality

August 27, 2017 By Roland

Good therapy is a pebble tossed into a still pond.  After the initial eruption and  crisis, the ripples of change travel ever outward, reaching distant shores.  These waves of energetic influence may move out into the world, touching family, children, friends and neighbors.  They also move inward, expanding deeper and more profoundly into the psyche.  Sometimes they lap against the soul.  [Read more…] about Therapy and Spirituality

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Psychotherapy, Spirituality

Finding Your Soul Match

August 27, 2017 By Roland

A truly lasting love is not easy to find. As adolescents, most of us entertained fantasies of discovering our soul mate—a bond so perfect nothing could disturb its devotion. Sadly, reality is not so simple: real relationships are complicated and messy. If we are unlikely to discover our one true mate, how should we go about choosing a prospective partner? How do we recognize a good enough match for our souls? [Read more…] about Finding Your Soul Match

Filed Under: Blog, Psychology, Relationship, Spirituality

Marriage as a Sacred Journey: Hugs and Quarrels

August 27, 2017 By Roland

The title of the talk is “Hugs and Quarrels” because that is what we do when we are married: we cling together and we push apart—hopefully we come together more than we part but both seem to be essential in an evolving marriage.  Connecting and separating are the light and dark, yin and yang of a relationship. [Read more…] about Marriage as a Sacred Journey: Hugs and Quarrels

Filed Under: Blog, Psychotherapy, Relationship

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From Roland’s Blog …

15: Stuck in the Mud

Surface and Depths: Introduction

1: Surface & Depth – An Encounter with Death



Roland Evans, Psychotherapist • 303-998-1090 • roland@roland-evans.com • 948 North Street, Suite #5, Boulder, CO 80304