You hope this year will be different. You want to get off to a good start and tackle those things you didn’t get to last year. Going to the Internet, you search through the lists of how to tackle your resolutions and feel all revved up to get going. Unfortunately, you are now more likely to fail than succeed. While the Internet suggestions look intuitively convincing, few are based on how the mind and the brain actually work.
We tend to have a much more negative view of ourself than others do – and our negative evaluation is often wrong!
Even when talking to strangers, we are usually too self-critical about the conversation, thinking we talk too much or should have said something differently. Research studies show that our conversation partners, even strangers, enjoy and like us more than we realize. There is a “liking gap” between our own view of ourself and what others think of us.
What will we most regret on our deathbed? Immediately after we have been humiliated or made a big blunder, most of us think we will regret it for the rest of our life. No so. The research is clear: we most regret those things we fail to do – not the things we actually do. In the long run, it matter little that we make a mess or mistake. Those things fade from memory. What haunts us and becomes a burden are the things we let slide: our procrastinations, our hesitations, our inability to take a leap of faith and following our dreams.
How well we do in our life fluctuates day-by-day and even hour-by-hour. We feel it in our sense of wellbeing and our ability to be productive and effective. In general, our overall functioning is a result of the balance between those things, people and activity that brigs us satisfactions and those same things that makes us frustrated.
Think of satisfactions as all those things, both inner and outer, that nourish our sense of self. In contrast, frustrations are all those blockages that obstruct our sense of movement, progress and expansion in our daily life. [Read more…] about How Well Are You Doing?
What are boundaries?
- Everything we can name has some sort of boundary to distinguish it from every other thing
- Boundaries make the world and our experience knowable and communicable
- We cannot differentiate something that does not have some sort of edge or contrast with its surroundings—whether through our senses, our ideas or our feelings.
Procrastination is not only the ‘thief of time’ but also the life stealer. Putting things off creates an inner tension that stops a person from enjoying the present and creates a future full of ignored and undone tasks.
The cause of procrastination is avoidance of pain and fear. We avoid the pain of facing those feelings and actions we have avoided in the past; we fear that completing a task in the future will make things worse.
Pain grows greater as we neglect to accomplish or finish what we hope or expected to do. As the pain grows, so does the avoidance and fear of the future. The pain and fear cluster around certain themes: [Read more…] about Procrastination
As we approach our own dreams, even with all the book learning in the world, we are often mystified. Dreams are somewhat opaque; they do not give up their meaning easily. Possibly our conscious mind is not ready to remember the dream, or maybe it discounts the dream as meaningless. Even when we can hold onto the images and story, it often resists our attempts at understanding. [Read more…] about Dreams and the Dreamer
We all have talents; we are all talented. Talents are those formless inner urges and potentials that demand outer expression. When our work is a manifestation of our talent, we become a channel through which our Soul influences the world. [Read more…] about Inner Talents
Every one experiences loss during their life. Some losses, however, have a profound effect, causing debilitating and long lasting grief. How a person copes with a particular loss–whether it is of a loved one, of physical health and ability or of hopes and dreams–depends on its particular meaning to that person. Each loss tends to activates any previous unresolved life experience; the emotional impact may seem way out of proportion–far greater than we would normally expect. [Read more…] about Loss
Each person has his or her own inner nature. It is a like a fingerprint that distinguishes that person from every other. That inner nature is also a blueprint for the tasks and challenges a person experiences in this life. The inner nature is not simply the soul but–how the soul relates to the world and its unfolding. It is a reflection of the soul in the mirror of the world. [Read more…] about Your Inner Nature