In the face of life’s demands, we often feel imbalanced and off center. Here are some reminders on how to maintain your balance and care for your self. Scan through the list to decide how to strengthen your self-care in particular areas. Try one or two actions for a couple of weeks and determine if they help. Add your own suggestions to the lists.
- Exercise regularly. Find a routine that suits your body and needs. Explore alternatives such as High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT), dancing, gardening, yoga or chi kung. Breathe naturally and rhythmically with longer outbreaths (see Coherence Breathing).
- Sleep long and well. Wind down at the end of the day; limit evening screen time, alcohol consumption and night snacking. Aim for seven hours of sleep. Take short naps (less than 20 minutes).
- Quiet your mind. Discover your best quieting practices: e.g. sit with eyes closed for 5 minutes before starting a task (especially in front of a computer); stop for a minute before getting out of your car; meditate when you first wake; take a contemplative walk in nature, listen to music.
- Challenge negativity. Write down self-criticisms, frustrations and aggravations. Think of them as ‘mind weeds’. Read them out loud in the third person using your name (X is feeling Y because of Z). Listen carefully to your words: what effect do those messages have on you? How do you want to change the messages for the better?
- Take action. Remember the serenity prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Decide what you can do about difficult situations and take action as soon as you can. Let go of the rest.
- Ration media. Consciously limit your exposure to media that stirs up anger, sadness or fear. Balance negative news with positive stories that reflect the best of humanity.
- Make a night list. Before going to sleep, write down those things you want/need to tackle the next day. Remind yourself that you do not need to think about those things again until tomorrow.
- Separate work and home. Let go of thinking about work at a particular time or place each day. Create a firm dividing line between when you work and when you relax. Practice holding that boundary until it becomes automatic.
- Take a day off. Create a day with absolutely no expectations or demands—turn off your phone, leave emails unread, avoid media and attend only to those things that nurture your soul.
- Resolve interpersonal conflicts. Notice when any relationship is off and decide what you need to do: take a stand, make a change or let it go. Assume the other person has good intentions and work to understand their position—but without losing your ground.
- Practice gratitude. Remember those things and people in your life that you appreciate and feel grateful for. At the end of each day bring to mind one or two incidents that gave you enjoyment and satisfaction. Smile and laugh more.
- Be loving. Let others know that you love and value them through words, gestures and loving acts. Do your best to maintain a positive loving attitude to others with no expectation of a reward.